Free to Fly
by Cerih
Summary: Jack and Ianto on a roof top following Ianto's suspension. Some spoilers for Cyberwoman. Implied Jack/Ianto. Not canon.


Disclaimer: Torchwood is the property of the BBC and I make no money from this.

Author's note: It's been a while since I had a Torchwood related inspiration that wasn't in connection with the House of Leaves. The final line of dialogue in this story popped into my head yesterday and refused to leave me alone until the story was written. It's not what I expected and perhaps it's not what you expected either.

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Free to Fly

"I thought I'd find you here."

Ianto glanced over his shoulder long enough to acknowledge Jack's words, but he said nothing.

Walking closer, Jack continued to speak. "Though I must admit, I thought brooding on roof tops was my speciality."

The Cardiff lights glittered behind them. Ahead was only darkness; the dark clouds merging with the darker sea. There were no stars to be seen tonight and even the moon was a mere paler patch in the continuous cloud mass. The wind carried with it the smell of salt and silt.

"Whoever said I was brooding?"

"I just assumed," Jack said, coming to stand next to Ianto. They were close but not quite close enough to touch. "You work in the archives when you want to be left alone, head for the tourist office when you feel the need for human interaction outside the team and clean Myfanwy's aerie when you need to work off frustration. It seems to me that it leaves roof tops for brooding."

Ianto's eyes flickered over to Jack, carrying a hint of surprise. "I never knew you paid so much attention to my habits."

"What can I say?" His voice took on a teasing edge. "I like to watch."

The barest twitch of Ianto's eyebrow conveyed his amusement, but he was not ready to allow the conversation to disintegrate into sexual innuendo and flirting.

"Working with Myfanwy has given me an appreciation of the heights. But it was you who showed how much better the experience is outside."

Glancing around the roof top, a fond smile lit Jack's eyes. "Yes, we've shared good moments up here. We made memories worth remembering here, before-" The smile slipped off his face as his eyes clouded over. The unfinished sentence hung between them; a tacit acknowledgement of anger, hurt and betrayal.

To Jack's surprise, Ianto smiled. "Before Lisa. I know."

Silence from Jack prompted Ianto shift his focus away from the darkness before them. Upon seeing the surprise on Jack's face, the smile turned to a chuckle. This only increased Jack's confusion.

"Do you think me so fragile," Ianto said, motioning at them with his hand, "think us so fragile, that a mere mention of the name might shatter us."

"I don't know." Jack's words were careful. "Maybe."

It was Ianto's turn to remain silent, as the empty Plass arrested his attention.

"I don't know what to think. We've not really spoken –" Jack drew in a deep breath, gathering his courage. "How are you, Ianto?"

"I'm fine now, Jack."

The use of his name instead of the habitual 'Sir' was enough to ensure Ianto had his undivided attention. Seeing a serene smile appear on Ianto's face sent the first sliver of unease through him.

"That's it?" he ventured to ask. "After everything that happened, you're fine?"

Their eyes met and the placidity in Ianto's gaze caused Jack to wonder whether he was on sedatives. The calm radiating from him felt unnatural.

"It had to happen sooner or later," Ianto said. "In this case, it happened sooner. I'm not sure I know how to explain it, except by saying that all the rage, desperation and the terrible sense of failure are gone."

Jack released a breath he had not realised he was holding. He willed his muscles to relax, but they refused to emulate the calm stance of the man next to him.

"That's good. I'm glad you're feeling better. Is there, I mean, was there, should I have-?" Jack was not certain how to phrase the question, but Ianto seemed to understand him just the same. The smile lingering on his lips widened, reaching his eyes.

"You did plenty." Jack flinched at this, but there was no accusation in Ianto's voice. "You did what I couldn't do. You saw what I refused to see. You had the courage I lacked. As is often the case, you were right and I was wrong."

"Do you…do you still think I'm a monster?" It was not what Jack had intended to ask, but the question had often kept him awake during Ianto's suspension, when he had tossed and turned in his bed, plagued by doubts and insecurities.

"We are all monsters, every one of us. Deep inside or perhaps just under the surface, but the monster is always there." Ianto's fingers ghosted over the back of Jack's hand. "You're no worse than any of us."

Jack shifted his weight, uncertain whether to be relieved or concerned by Ianto's response. He wanted to reach out and touch Ianto, but an instinct held him back. Ianto was in charge with his tranquil eyes and angelic smile. It would be up to him to breach the minute distance, which at that moment felt like a yawning gulf.

"Does that mean you forgive me?" Another difficult question. Jack's pulse picked up as he waited for the words to make or break him.

"There is nothing to forgive. You did what had to be done, what needed to be done. Your strength carried you through where mine failed me."

"I was cruel." Jack's shoulders slumped. "I treated you wrong."

"You did what you had to do," Ianto repeated, shaking his head. "I was blinded by my desperation to save Lisa, even though in my heart I knew it was too late. Trust me, Jack, you did the right thing."

A rueful chuckle escaped Jack's lips, surprising them both. "Shouldn't it be me convincing you about the necessity of my actions?"

"Perhaps. I had plenty of time during my suspension to let work through my anger and to accept the way things were, they way they still are."

"So," Jack cleared his throat, "what happens now? Where do w…you go from here?"

There was a knowing glint in Ianto's eyes as he cast a sideways glance at Jack. "Do you mean what's next for me or for us?"

"Both." His heart was beating so fast he was certain Ianto could hear the thump.

"Us…" Ianto tasted the word, tilting his head to the side. "I think things would be different had I dared to give you all of me from the start."

Jack frowned, uncertain how to interpret Ianto's words. The unease was growing at the back of his mind, though he would not put his finger on what was causing it.

"You know what has always been my greatest dream, my deepest wish?" Ianto continued on, either oblivious to Jack's confusion or choosing to ignore it. "The one thing I dream about most nights."

"Tell me," he said, struggling to get his bearings with the new direction of the conversation. "I'd like to know."

"Flying." Turning to face Jack, the calm smile was back on Ianto's face. "I've always wanted to fly."

"Perhaps you could teach Myfanwy to carry you? It would be quite a sight." The humour in his voice sounded forced.

"It would indeed. Shame she's too small to carry my weight." Ianto took a half step towards the door, away from the roof's edge and Jack took that to mean that he was ready to go back down to the Plass. To the Hub. To whatever was waiting for them both. Perhaps he could persuade Ianto to have dinner with him. Jack wanted to take advantage of Ianto's willingness to share and to learn more about him.

"Maybe she'll grow into the task?" Jack suggested as he headed for the door.

"There's no need."

"How so?"

"Because I'm finally free." Something in Ianto's voice caused Jack to stop on his tracks and turn back. Ianto was at the roof's edge, on the roof's edge, watching Jack over his shoulder. The serenity on his face turned Jack's insides into ice. Careful to maintain the eye contact, Ianto spread his arms as if they were wings. "I'm finally free to fly."

In a single beat of Jack's heart, Ianto was gone.


End file.
